Imagine.

Bodwell Bunch

Here are some pics! Write more later. I'm exhausted.

Epiphany, or something like it.

Have you ever met people that leave you feeling so inspired that you want to change your habits and your outlook on life? These people are amazing. I know I am quite a career-driven individual, but from time to time, I lose my motivation. It's after learning about other people's achievements, and the fact that they even open up their failures to you, that makes you feel that you, yes you, can achieve something great too.

I had some time this weekend to just relax and reflect on what I want to do with my life after undergrad and came out with a couple of ideas. Right now, it's either job or gradschool. Travelling would be nice, too. I've been an obsessed hiking freak after visiting mec.ca (why do my obsessions occur off seasons...) and would love to go backpacking in other countries or just explore BC. There are quite a few outstanding university that offers great programs for Cognitive Science or HCI (human computer interaction) that I've researched. I remember how I hated gr.12 because of the stress from applying for schools, scholarships and other post secondary issues, so I think if I were to do grad school, I'll start planning this Summer. But for now, I think I'll just concentrate on doing well on finals.

I was having a convo w/ Lil about changes (while she was in the middle of doing her paper!) and we discussed how we changed. For me, I'm less tolerant and a little more judgemental for things or beaviours that I think just aren't right. Having that said, I am probably less accepting than I used to be and at the same time, I'm redefining my values. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing...it's probably a little of both. But regardless of what it is, I like me the way I am.

On the "Quarter-Life Crisis"
They call it the "quarter-life crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two but then get hot and scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you, or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One-night stands and random hookups start to look cheap, and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You wonder what in the hell is wrong with you.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it and we are all in this together. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. We are making a lot of mistakes, but helping one another learn from them and reaching out to pull one another up. We are not the shiniest group of people, but we are a very much a circle. We are there for one another, and will listen and help heal and grow for the rest of our lives. We will piss one another off, but we will also heal one another's hearts. We are the group who will always call on birthdays and laugh at the end of a conversation that started with angry words. We are a group that talks trash about the same people we call to meet up with on a Friday night, but we are sorry about it and we know that they know that we were just being insecure like they have been. We are friends, and in 10 years, when we have figured out where we fit in in this world, we will still be friends always and forever!

Work stories, Crystal Decisions Info Night & Happy Jacket

I'm going to feel uber geeky for write yet another entry about work, but I just can't resist ;P

So anyway, at work last day, the phones were pretty quite and there were only 7 trouble tickets in the box. Andy decided to look around friendster and check (or more like, insult) people. So after person after person, he came across this hot white girl. He must've yelled out, "whoa, hot girl!" 'cause before we knew it, there was a swarm of guys around the comp. They gave their comments and yadeeya and Evan read out some of the testimonies she received from her friends. "Hey, look at this...she's a les!" Eyes look disappointed. Then Wilson points out, "Whoa! And she likes asian girls!" -- eyes darted to me. "Hey, I'll message her!!"

I find that funny but then again, maybe I'm just overworked and burnt out ;P

I was helping out at yesterday's Crystal Decision InfoTech night last night for CSSS...and wow, was I surprised at the turn out. There were 100+ comp sci students there and these weren't just your regular joe students, they were hungry-job hunting-about-to graduate students! Seeing them so aggressive about getting a job makes me wonder if I should be more aggressive too. I got a chance to chat with some people that I haven't seen in months. Turns out Rainbow works at Chrystal D now...and Regan works at IBM after she finished her co-op term in Germany. The fact that I graduate in 1.5 years is a bit overwhelming. Not sure if I'm ready for the working world. But until then, I'm going to try to enjoy things :O)

Whoever said materialistic things can't buy happiness is lying. (Just as long as it's not their main focus in life) I got my jacket!! I was so happy when they told me the order came. In case you're curious, it's a HH Helly Tech 2 layer ripstop jacket with inner theremore lining. It has a powder skirt, underarm vents and detachable hood. I can go on, really. But I won't. Lalala, I'm a material girl...living in a material world.

Whys, Halloween & Coworkers

Why is it that things you enjoyed doing while you're studying are not as appealing when you don't need to study?

Why is it that you can lie in bed for what feels like hours and not fall asleep but once the prof starts talking, your eyes begin to droop over?

Why is it that there are people in this world that needs to put others down so they can use this to get close to another person? I think some people should just mind their own business a little more often and shut their mouths.

Why is it that after you finish all your midterms (well most), you take a look at your to-do list and it seems like you have to start catching up on just about everything?

Why do I ask why so much when I know the answer to these questions?

Anyways, hope everyone had a great Hallowe'en! I don't know if it was just me, or was everyone a little more festive this year. The decorated houses, the costumes, the excessive firecrackers...I miss trick-or-treating! Why do kids have all the fun?!

Work has been so much fun. Some of my coworkers are so hilarious. A couple of days ago, Wilson was about to meet up with this girl he met on friendster.com. So Wayne and I decided to read her info. We took a look and the first thing we noticed was what she had put down for who she would like to meet. She listed "generous" as #1 and in the list, there was also "forgiving". At this point, we started cracking up...Wilson started to look a wee bit worried ;P But we reassured him that just 'cause it's stereotypical to say that Shanghai girls (esp young 18 year old girls) are gold diggers it doesn't have to be true...all the while we'll murmur "generous" and "forgiving" whenever we pass by him ;P Anyway, they met and to make a long story short, he gave her a 6.7 or 7 (I personally thought she was at least an 8). ;P